We all remember high school don’t we? The friends, the enemies, the social rules that changed every day. It was crazy for us. But just imagine how much more difficult it is for teenagers with Asperger’s Syndrome.
The strangest IEP (Individual Education Plan) meeting I ever conducted was with “Fred,” a thirteen year old boy with Asperger’s Syndrome. Fred was in a meeting with me, his parents and five of his teachers. Fred was comfortable with the meeting as he had been involved in IEP meetings since he was eight. When I asked him what he thought his goals needed to be for the next semester he clearly articulated the following:
Pretty clear goals, don’t you think! When I asked Fred why those goals were so important to him he replied:
Fred has learned that social relationships are important, and he was asking for help to make them happen for him. But what a way to make a group of teachers uncomfortable! They wanted to talk about Fred’s inattentiveness in class, the fact that he would forget his books and his lack of interest in History.
I believed that we should follow Fred and his goals. They were important to him. So as a group we attempted to come up with a list of strategies that Fred could use to become more social with his peers. Fred left happy as the meeting was meaningful to him and his current needs. Sure, we also spent some time talking about his attitude and attentiveness in class.
That IEP meeting was also a great learning experience for the teachers. They came into the meeting thinking solely about how Fred acts in their class. But they left thinking about him as a teenager who was struggling to belong. Just like all teenagers.
Dianne Kennedy (2002) writes that people with Asperger’s Syndrome will experience ‘the saddest and most difficult time’ when they are teenagers. Hopefully that won’t be the case for Fred.
Related posts:
- Let’s Celebrate “All Types of Minds” During Autism Awareness Month
- Parent to Parent Communication: Have We Learned Anything from High School?
Tags: Asperger, AspergerSyndrome, Autism spectrum, Disorders, Health, Mental Health, Neurodevelopmental, Social relation
[...] Ainslie also reminds us that kids with Aspergers and Autism have the same needs as all other kids do, but magnified. [...]
As the mom of a 13 yr old Aspie, this post made me want to cry! For 2 reasons. First, I can totally relate. My son, went through a similar revalation a few years ago. And it came up during an IEP meeting as well. Except he was younger and uncomfortable addressing these concerns to teachers, so asked that I bring it up in the meeting.
The result was amazing! This school set up a “Social Skills” training class and invited other children that were having similar issues (Not all Aspies or even on IEPs), just kids who were having a hard time socially. He is not on his 4th year with this group. And they have instituted it in each grade.
I can see such a wonderful change, too. We actually have some boys who call here for my son and we have had occassional visitors as well.
I am a firm believer that when educators take the social aspects of a child’s education seriously, great things can follow!
Thank you for sharing this post!
Kristen,
Thank you so much for sharing what your school is doing to make a difference in children’s lives. We are always interested in hearing about teachers, administrators, parents, et al. that are positively effecting student’s lives.
-Amanda
Community Manager, Parentella