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A Life-Long Reader at Last?

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

Maybe it’s because she can read what she wants. Maybe it’s because she can read when she wants. Maybe it’s the Reading Log Workbook, cheering her on to read one million words this school year. Maybe it’s not having to do monthly book reports. Or maybe it’s just because she’s another year older, and has accepted the reading as part of her responsibilities. Whatever it is, I love not having to cajole, beg, plead or stand over her to get her to do her reading anymore.

My 6th grader’s new charter middle school doesn’t have a lot of requirements to go with their 30-minute daily reading assignment. In fact, she doesn’t even have to do it every night; it’s up to her to figure out how to read that amount each week. She’s opted to do it all on Sundays. Part of that is because of our hectic schedule lately, and finding a half-hour a night isn’t feasible many nights. But come Sunday, she reads. It only takes one reminder from me, and she gets out a timer, figures out how long to read before taking a break. She only asks that there be silence while she’s reading, a simple (and frankly, welcome by me) request. My older daughter either goes into her room, or puts on headphones. I get some housework done, and read during my breaks. After each reading session, we use the guide provided in her Reading Log Workbook to figure out how many words she’s read, she writes it down, I sign my initials. She takes her break, and then goes back to reading with no fuss when her break time is over.

This is simply not normal for us. Right or wrong, good or bad, every school year for the last 5 years, I’ve struggled to get her to like reading. It’s been frustrating on varying levels for me. I love to read, and I couldn’t understand why my daughter didn’t. I’ve role modeled a love of books her entire life! I’ve also felt like a failure as a parent because of it. Her summaries were sloppy, not focused on the main points. There were few books she loved. There were months where I helped her finish her monthly book reports far more than I felt comfortable doing, and there were months it didn’t get done. Her grades in that subject struggled, and I struggled with ideas for motivating her.

I think it’s a combination of all of the above, and a few others, that have made this year so different. Her English teacher this year is her favorite, so there’s more intrinsic motivation, and less willingness to tolerate disappointment from this teacher’s eyes. As I write this, she has laughed out loud plenty reading this installment of Harry Potter, one of her greatest current obsessions. This is her last installment of reading for this week, and not once has she checked the timer to see how much time she has left.

However long it took to get here, however many factors play into us being here now, I can only hope that struggles with reading are in the past.

April McCaffery is the single parent to two daughters, in 6th and 9th grade.

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Posted in April McCaffery, Homework, Parent Perspectives | 2 Comments »

Why We Chose a Charter Middle School

Saturday, August 20th, 2011

Photo: Stock Xchng/Bubbels

My youngest daughter starts middle school tomorrow. We’ll be waking up about an hour earlier than last year, I’ll be driving about 30 minutes completely out of my way, and she will start earlier and stay later. So why not the neighborhood middle school? Before she starts, I thought it would be good to write down my reasons for making this decision. As the year progresses, I’ll of course continue to post about how it really turns out.

Leaving what we know. My older daughter just graduated from the neighborhood middle school. While 8th grade was all right, 6th and 7th were not. She struggled both academically and socially. I had to change her counselor, she had to go back into therapy, and she had to go to summer school one year. While it could have gone worse, we barely made it through. It was only when she started to think about her future beyond middle school that she was able to start turning things around.  I was certainly motivated to do things differently this time around.

A trusted recommendation. We chose the charter middle school based on a recommendation by a very trusted educator friend of ours, and after checking it out for ourselves.

She wants to go there.  My daughter responded to the school enthusiastically, and that’s half the battle right there. She pored over the paperwork we’d been given, and the web site. She was excited to go back to school shopping and put her backpack together. We’ll see if it lasts, but her enthusiasm completely validates our decision.

The Parent Coordinator. Yes, that’s actually his title. I have his cell phone, his email, and he made sure to introduce himself when I first went to pick up the application. He has replied to each and every one of my multiple emails with my dozens of questions, thoughtfully and quickly. He even accepted some of the registration forms via email, understanding that it’s a drive for me to get there. He’s not the only one that’s been helpful. The Principal has also been friendly and knowledgeable, the woman in the front office has been helpful, and every teacher I’ve seen has been sure to nod and smile at me. Even a few of the kids stopped me one day and asked me about my child. They said they’d keep their eye out for her, and responded enthusiastically that they love their school.

The Advisory Period. I suppose this could also be considered homeroom, but the advisory class that my daughter will have every day will advise her not only on managing her homework schedule, but on thinking about colleges and her future. I think this will be a great tool in her transition from elementary school to high school prep and beyond.

The After-School Program. My oldest daughter used the City’s free bus program to get to her after-school program. That bus program has just been cut. At the charter middle school, there’s a free after school program on campus. They will have an activity for the first hour, then homework for the second, and other activities after that. I like that homework is in the 2nd hour, giving the students a break from school, but she’ll have both the time and assistance, and opportunities for other interests.

It will be a long year. Longer, in fact, than the neighborhood school because there are 10 more instructional days than the state requirements. I am bracing myself for the transitional period that will potentially involve tears and/or whining. Still, I have enough reasons to think that, in the end, our choice will be the right one.

April McCaffery is the single mother with 2 daughters, going into a charter middle school and an arts high school.

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Posted in April McCaffery, Charter Schools, Parent Perspectives | 5 Comments »

Inspiring Parental Involvement

Friday, August 12th, 2011

My friend told me excitedly about meeting her son’s second grade teacher.  She got such a good vibe that she volunteered to grade papers. She added, “can you believe it?”

She’s a hands-on mother, but she still doesn’t see herself as an “involved parent” because of her lack of volunteering on school grounds for the last two years. She has good reason. She works full-time, and she goes in early to be home with her son after school so she’s unavailable during school hours. I take issue with the idea that she’s not involved, but I can understand why she thinks others might see it that way. This teacher has offered ways to help that doesn’t disrupt her work day.

More than that, the teacher’s own involvement was infectious. My friend could feel that this teacher goes the extra mile, and was inspired to do the same.

My own so-called parental involvement has come about for similar reasons.

The first time I volunteered in the school environment was when I could feel that very same vibe at my daughter’s school. The teachers and administrators were inspiring. When they asked ever so politely if any parents were available to help chaperone a field trip in the evening hours, I practically jumped at the chance.

First, it was the wording. They didn’t demand volunteers, they asked. Then, it was the timing. I hadn’t responded to earlier requests for daytime activities because of my work schedule. Throughout the year, there was always a variety of opportunities that made it possible for me to volunteer when I could without feeling guilty for the times I couldn’t.

I was happy to continue giving of my time throughout the year because I was always treated with respect, and the atmosphere was always welcoming.

The past two years, I volunteered as Secretary of the PTA at my younger daughter’s school because of that same warmth and respect I felt with the other parents and administrators, and their understanding when I couldn’t volunteer for certain activities.  (And it certainly helped that they provided child care for the meetings.) And even though my older daughter wasn’t a student at that school, she felt just as welcome there.

In my older daughter’s school that she just completed, I never volunteered for one activity, and never felt any guilt about it. Every time I stepped foot in that middle school for the last three years, I was treated like cattle. It got to the point where we’d be planning our escape before we even walked in.  There were always long lines for everything, there were constant demands for our patience, and only a handful of teachers and one counselor that were pleasant to be around. After graduation, we celebrated that we never had to go back there again.

Schools looking to increase parental involvement should start by looking at how parents are treated when on campus. Is there a warm welcome? Do parents look lost or frustrated, or are they smiling? (Look at all the parents; there are some who will always look miserable, some who will always look happy, but what is the average of the parents there?) Are there a variety of times and ways that parents can volunteer? Can parents keep in touch in a myriad of ways? Schools might want to consider sending an informal survey home for parents to anonymously answer. Are certain frustrations written over and over? What activities are the families’ favorites?

Involve parents by inspiring them.

April McCaffery is the single mom to two daughters, in 6th and 9th grade.

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Posted in April McCaffery, Parent Perspectives, School Involvement | 12 Comments »

Truths are Subjective

Friday, July 29th, 2011

I’m simply not recognizing our own experiences in charter and alternative schools with what’s being portrayed in the latest educational documentary, The Inconvenient Truth Behind Waiting for Superman. Their definitions of what co-location and charter schools are, for instance, are not what I’ve seen.

My daughter’s first charter school was co-located, but shared a building with another charter school; one downstairs, one upstairs. Since then, that charter has moved to its own separate campus in a building that wasn’t previously a public school, but a warehouse. My younger daughter’s current charter school is currently sharing space with a Boys and Girls Club that has previously shared space with another charter school that has moved to the building that my daughter’s first charter school was previously located. In none of my charter school experience have any of them shared or, as the film portrays, “stolen” space from other public schools.

The charter schools are also not funded by corporations, as the film states, but do seek and obtain private funds and grants. The Boards of the charters are usually business executives, but for the most part, they’re simply people who have made money and want to give back to the community. I have had my share of problems with charter Boards, but to paint them so simply as corporate-run schools is not the problem I encountered. It’s a problem that I’ve seen in all non-profits; Boards are about raising money, not the day-to-day operations.

I have also had more say and open communication with the charter schools than the public schools my daughters have attended. My younger daughter’s current charter school has a Parent Coordinator. At the former charter school, I had the Principal’s cell phone number, and every email or phone call was returned on the same day.

My youngest daughter has an IEP. To say that there are no IEP students in charter schools is simply not true. Both of my daughters’ charter schools had over 90% students that participated in the federal lunch program, again contrary to what the film says. I don’t know the exact percentage of ELL students, but I do know that again over 90% of students were Hispanic.

I’m not denying what these educators are saying has been their experience, but to say that this is everyone’s experience with charter schools is an overstatement. And to call it the “truth” shows a lack of understanding on what the word means. Our “truth” has been that the schools that utilize the “real reforms” according to the film, have been in the charter and alternative schools we’ve attended far more than in the public schools.

Here’s what I know: I know that I can feel it when I walk into a school that is a good fit for my children. I have had this experience in 4 schools so far: one was our neighborhood elementary public school, two were charter schools, and one is the arts high school; a school that is free to me as a parent, but does have an audition and application process to get in. Not all charter schools are good, but they’re not all bad, either.

When we had our first charter experience, at first, I admit, I thought it was the ultimate answer. Now I know it’s not about the type of school, it is the personnel within the schools. You have to believe in the Principal and your child’s teachers. As a parent, you have to take steps to be involved, by attending parent meetings, by getting to know the teachers, but you also have to recognize when it’s not you, it’s them.

There are no easy answers. And I don’t think that one answer will work for everyone. Parents and students need choices to find the right school for their family. The best thing about this movie is the fact that it keeps the conversation going. I hope that the reform on all levels continues and improves education for every student.

April McCaffery is the single mom to two daughters, going into 6th & 9th grade.

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Posted in April McCaffery, Charter Schools, Education Policy, Education Reform, Media, Schools | 2 Comments »

A Western Parent on Praise

Wednesday, July 20th, 2011

"Tiger Mom" thinks we (the West) use these too often

While I am not a Tigermom by any stretch of the imagination, fellow Parentella contributor Steve Franklin and I are in total agreement when it comes to artificial Western praise. Only my reasons for it are completely different (and Western).

Surely, an epitome of Western parenting has to be How to Talk so Kids Will Listen (& Listen So Kids Will Talk) by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlich. As the title suggests, this book is for parents (like me) that want to effectively communicate with their children, not talk at them. And, interestingly enough, it was this book that made me think about the artificial praise that comes so naturally to parents like me…or so it seems.

I thought I was kind of a mean parent because every piece of artwork my daughter ever did wasn’t something I wanted to treasure. She would show it to me, and while I was saying not so convincingly, “very nice,” I was thinking I have to remember to throw this away when she goes to bed. My daughter loves art and would create a dozen “pieces” a day easy.

How to Talk… approached it differently. They talked about how parents being proud of our children wasn’t really a key motivator, but rather, being concrete and specific about what we liked, and saying, “you must be so proud” would put it back on them to take ownership rather than looking to the parent to validate them. That was an important message to me since my end-goal as a parent is to raise my daughters into productive, independent adults.

I remember witnessing an incident of artificial praise that highlighted immediate downfalls, too.

We were on a plane from Florida to L.A. (i.e., a long flight). The mother in front of us was trying to carry on a conversation with her husband, but her 3-year-old kept interrupting her. The first time her daughter displayed a drawing for her mom, the mom responded in one of those high-pitched “good mommy” voices, “oh, that’s wonderful, honey! That’s so beautiful!”

The daughter kept churning them out, looking again and again for her mother’s input, interrupting the conversation until finally the mom got fed up and the girl ended up crying.

I think the little girl really wanted to know what made that first drawing so wonderful. Her mother hadn’t told her anything specific, but the daughter was sure her mother must’ve liked the first picture best since that elicited the most positive reaction. She tried over and over to re-create that, but each time the mother’s response became more dismissive because she wanted to get back to her conversation. Artificial praise wasn’t helping either of them.

Interestingly enough, the more I got out of the habit, the more my daughter’s drawings improved. When I did really like something, I made a point of telling her what exactly I liked about it.  This fall,  she’ll be attending an arts high school as a Visual Arts major. And we’re both very proud.

April McCaffery is a single mother to two daughters, entering 6th and 9th grade.

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Posted in Adult/Child Communication, April McCaffery, Current News, Parent Perspectives, Steve Franklin, extracurricular activities | 8 Comments »

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