Parentella

This article is continued from yesterday.

3. Provide opportunities to try out new things

Perfectionists are often “risk evaders,” who fear trying something new, in the event that they are not immediately and effortlessly good at it. Offer your child many opportunities to try new activities, sports, and projects without the pressure of having to be good at them right away.

4. Encourage practice

Whether it is math problems or a new piano piece, emphasize to your child that practice is the best way to become good at something. Gifted and perfectionistic kids benefit from realizing that they do not have to excel at something right out of the starting gate and that practicing skills is not a sign of weakness, but rather a path toward excellence.

5. Celebrate mistakes

That’s right. My daughter looks at me like I’m a nut when I do this, but I make a (more…)

You get the letter in the mail from school: a teacher has identified your child as potentially “gifted” and wants to send him or her for further testing and evaluation. Flash forward: the tests are completed, your child is a whiz, and enrichment classes will become a part of his regular school routine.

What wonderful news! It was in my family. Until all of a sudden, it wasn’t anymore. Instead of my seven-year old feeling enhanced self-confidence and pride in her intellectual and creative abilities, what I began to see was a newly anxious little girl who cried over imperfect scores on her handwriting test and wanted to give up books “forever” when she found out she placed second in her class’ monthly reading contest.

Somehow, being praised for being “smart” at home seemed like old hat to her, but the more public label of being “gifted” at school created a level of pressure that quickly became overwhelming. My once-eager learner no longer wanted to try new things for fear of not being good at them right away. My I’m-too-busy-to-slow-down girl lingered endlessly at the homework table, eraser-in-hand, until her lowercase “e” hit the dotted lines “just so” on the Zaner-Bloser handwriting tablet. My self-confident little go-getter told me she “wasn’t smart anymore” and even “hated herself” after getting one item wrong on a math test.

Wow! Talk about being overwhelmed. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing and hearing. Her sense of self-worth plummeting was devastating to us both. I did what any good parent would do: first, (more…)