Parentella

One thing I really appreciated about Race to Nowhere was how they treated parents. They did not say that parents were not at fault, but that sometimes, the way parents try to be involved can be detrimental.

Here are some changes I plan to make on how I involve myself in my daughters’ education:

Reframe the homework question. Instead of the ubiquitous “how much homework do you have?” (which I’m guessing my children like just as much I enjoy the “what’s for dinner?” question), I’ll be asking, “do you need help with your homework tonight?” My girls need to know that I’m here for them, that they are not alone. If the answer is “no,” then I’ll ask them how much time they think they’ll need to complete it. That will get them thinking about their own time management, and I’ll know how much family time we’ll have.

Understand that they do care about bad grades.  Some of the students in the film took a bad test score or failing grade much harder than I would have thought. I thought back to some of the times I’ve told my girls that I know they can do better, that they’re smarter than this, and felt ashamed of myself. While it’s probably true that they could have studied harder for some tests, I realized how my disappointment could have made things worse for them. I remembered how devastating it was for me as a child to know that I’d disappointed my parents. And how sometimes, that sense of disappointment can make giving up seem like a more viable option. If you’re not trying, then it’s not really a failure. I need to make sure that I give them an opportunity to work through their mistakes, and come out better for them.

Continue education where school leaves off. It wasn’t surprising to hear that one student’s reaction to the passing of her AP French test was, “I never have to speak French again,” but of course, it’s upsetting. I was shocked to learn that 50% of entering college freshman need remedial courses in Math and English. These subjects are at the core of standardized testing, and yet, the students aren’t retaining anything that they can use in their college career. I can do more as a parent by not focusing on what is being taught in the classroom, but rather on what’s not being taught. Instead of worrying about the spelling, I can help them with context and critical thinking. I can help them take the facts they’re learning and show them the art that came out of that historical period. Most importantly, I can help them face the world by thinking about how to be a part of solutions to problems.

Keep school in perspective with everything else. This isn’t a new concept for me, but one reiterated in the film. There are multiple avenues for success in the world, and many of them have nothing to do with school–or at least, not all aspects of school. Capitalizing on their strengths is the easiest way to make dreams into attainable goals. As well-rounded as we want our children to be, we as humans have to accept that we have some weaknesses, too.

Question, discuss, and advocate. Again, not a new concept, but worth stating as many times as necessary. Education reform simply will not happen without a lot of involvement from parents, students, teachers, administrators, and interested community leaders. It will not come from the top down, but from proven success at the local level. It’s easy to focus on all the problems, but we can’t give up, we can’t just be naysayers, we have to come at each problem with the intent of being part of the solution.

See if Race to Nowhere will be playing near you. If not, then request a screening for your community. See the trailer here. Read Parentella’s review of the movie here.

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April McCaffery is the single mom to two daughters, in 5th & 8th grade.