Posts Tagged ‘Parents’

Truths are Subjective

Friday, July 29th, 2011

I’m simply not recognizing our own experiences in charter and alternative schools with what’s being portrayed in the latest educational documentary, The Inconvenient Truth Behind Waiting for Superman. Their definitions of what co-location and charter schools are, for instance, are not what I’ve seen.

My daughter’s first charter school was co-located, but shared a building with another charter school; one downstairs, one upstairs. Since then, that charter has moved to its own separate campus in a building that wasn’t previously a public school, but a warehouse. My younger daughter’s current charter school is currently sharing space with a Boys and Girls Club that has previously shared space with another charter school that has moved to the building that my daughter’s first charter school was previously located. In none of my charter school experience have any of them shared or, as the film portrays, “stolen” space from other public schools.

The charter schools are also not funded by corporations, as the film states, but do seek and obtain private funds and grants. The Boards of the charters are usually business executives, but for the most part, they’re simply people who have made money and want to give back to the community. I have had my share of problems with charter Boards, but to paint them so simply as corporate-run schools is not the problem I encountered. It’s a problem that I’ve seen in all non-profits; Boards are about raising money, not the day-to-day operations.

I have also had more say and open communication with the charter schools than the public schools my daughters have attended. My younger daughter’s current charter school has a Parent Coordinator. At the former charter school, I had the Principal’s cell phone number, and every email or phone call was returned on the same day.

My youngest daughter has an IEP. To say that there are no IEP students in charter schools is simply not true. Both of my daughters’ charter schools had over 90% students that participated in the federal lunch program, again contrary to what the film says. I don’t know the exact percentage of ELL students, but I do know that again over 90% of students were Hispanic.

I’m not denying what these educators are saying has been their experience, but to say that this is everyone’s experience with charter schools is an overstatement. And to call it the “truth” shows a lack of understanding on what the word means. Our “truth” has been that the schools that utilize the “real reforms” according to the film, have been in the charter and alternative schools we’ve attended far more than in the public schools.

Here’s what I know: I know that I can feel it when I walk into a school that is a good fit for my children. I have had this experience in 4 schools so far: one was our neighborhood elementary public school, two were charter schools, and one is the arts high school; a school that is free to me as a parent, but does have an audition and application process to get in. Not all charter schools are good, but they’re not all bad, either.

When we had our first charter experience, at first, I admit, I thought it was the ultimate answer. Now I know it’s not about the type of school, it is the personnel within the schools. You have to believe in the Principal and your child’s teachers. As a parent, you have to take steps to be involved, by attending parent meetings, by getting to know the teachers, but you also have to recognize when it’s not you, it’s them.

There are no easy answers. And I don’t think that one answer will work for everyone. Parents and students need choices to find the right school for their family. The best thing about this movie is the fact that it keeps the conversation going. I hope that the reform on all levels continues and improves education for every student.

April McCaffery is the single mom to two daughters, going into 6th & 9th grade.

How Do We Encourage Charitable Living in Children?

Friday, December 3rd, 2010

The holiday season is here! Many take the opportunity to show charity and we should in order to model for our children what giving is about. I grew up in a very poor neighborhood in Texas. We lived in a house my grandfather built that was next to his house in a neighborhood where you couldn’t leave your sandals on the porch without them getting stolen. We had homeless people knock on our door daily. However, I never felt I was poor. I lived a very rich life filled with love from parents who spent a lot of time with my 4 sisters and I. Plus, my parents are very charitable. Every year we would deliver gifts to children far worst than us. We would give our presents away during our birthdays and Christmas to those who never had a birthday thrown for them. My father even gave away his expensive 10 foot bowling trophies to our friends. We had an open home where several children would stay when their parents were busy working to make ends meet.

Sometimes we would have 20 kids that my dad would take to the beach or to Chucky Cheese and pay for them all. He couldn’t really afford this. Some days we only ate chili con carne as our meal. I used to get angry sometimes but then later I realized in my adolescent years how blessed I was. Great things have happened and all my sisters and I managed to attend college through scholarships and grants. We have never felt true poverty like living from our car or having to figure out how to eat. Many of my friends did experience this, though, as well as many of the children I taught in Texas. Every year I volunteer my time to help others. This charitable spirit comes from parents who have the biggest hearts I know. They still help others daily.

This past Wednesday on the #PTCHAT educators, parents, principals, and other stakeholders gathered to share tips on how to encourage charitable living in our children this holiday Season!

Parentella: As a parent it is so important to me that I am raising empathetic children who grow up giving back & grow into giving adults. How can we encourage giving & charitable living in the classroom?
cybraryman1: “If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?”
Sara24lynn: This year my school is giving to the food bank. I always draw a kid or elder or two 2 buy for each year
jdwilliams: @Parentella my class did this about a month ago: http://mrjwilliams.com/?p=358
stumpteacher: We have done Make a Wish, various cancer groups and we have one that directly aids low income students in our own population
famousmistered: I had change jar that kids/families could donate to. Used for coin recognition & counting, then to buy items for food bank.
penny_222: One of my units was on how charities raise/spend money and what their goals are. My inspiration was Daughtry’s song ‘what about now’

Teaching kids the spirit of giving, not receiving is wonderful and one they will keep for the rest of their lives.

Parentella was created to solve the issue of parent and educator communication at elementary, middle school and high school levels. As part of this mission, we are hosting weekly #PTCHAT discussions to encourage a productive dialogue between parents and educators. We hope you will join us Wednesdays at 9 p.m. EST.

You may also want to join Parentella on Facebook to keep updated. We invite you to propose questions for upcoming topics. View the entire transcript here.

If you are new to following hashtag discussions, you may want to check out this video tutorial on using Tweetdeck for hashtag discussions.

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The Parental Involvement Generation Gap

Wednesday, November 24th, 2010

Parenting has changed. Nowhere is that more evident than on school grounds.

I honestly cannot remember a time when my parents volunteered in my school, or asked me more about my homework than did I finish it. Not that I considered them at all apathetic or indifferent to my education. There was an assumption back then (I graduated high school 25 years ago) that my education was my responsibility.

Recently, I took my daughter to visit a high school we hope she attends next year (this particular school is neither a magnet nor a charter, but what’s considered an alternative school). That astonishes my parents! Even more amazing to them is that it might not be the last of such pre-enrollment visits. I actually went to this very same high school, and back then there was no Information Night or Open House Tour prior to the application process.

At that tour, it hit me just how much parenting has changed in the last generation; while we hope it’s for the better, sometimes I wonder.

I wonder if maybe by being so involved in my daughters’ education, am I depriving them of that opportunity to take ownership of it themselves? I especially worry about that in my 5th grader. I feel like she sometimes doesn’t complete her homework at her after-school program not because she needs my help, but because she’d rather play with her friends and procrastinate in getting it done.

I saw a familiar look in most of the other parents’ eyes on that tour; wanting so much, so desperately to provide the very best for our children. Do we want it more than they do? If we took a step back, would our children step up?

I know that they say that parental involvement is key to a child’s success, but I’m still skeptical that we’re defining that term in the best possible way.

My parents were incredibly involved in my life, and completely supportive of my extra-curricular activities. I fell  in love with theatre at the age of six,  and my parents involved themselves by spending most of their weeknights and weekends taking me to rehearsals and performances. Just as one example, there was a winter during my elementary school years that my dad spent driving home from his job in San Jose to pick me up in Santa Cruz (about an hour commute), drive me to San Francisco (a two-hour drive), wait for my 3 or 4 hour rehearsal, and drive me back to Santa Cruz. That is parental involvement!

That’s the type of parental involvement I also love doing as a parent; being there and cheering them on at their performances, assemblies, etc., spending time together doing what we all enjoy, and just plain hanging out together and talking.

I do not love nagging my daughters to get their homework done, driving frantically to Staples or Target to pick up supplies for projects, or looking up mathematical formulas on the internet to help them complete their homework.

I’m not saying parenting should be easy. Nor is every moment spent on something other than school necessarily lovely, either! I’m just saying, there’s a lot more to parental involvement than signing a reading log. And raising a productive adulthood means that at some point, parents have to  let their children be free enough to become responsible.

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April McCaffery is a single mother to two daughters, in 5th and 8th grade.

What Are Your Tips to Help Children Study?

Thursday, November 18th, 2010

Testing is a part of schooling often associated with stress. One way to help alleviate the stress and ensure success is to help students learn to study. We realize that cramming isn’t the most effective approach to preparing for an assessment. Many of our children, though, have no clue the best they remember information. If they did know, our children would have less stress. Learning is a part of studying and if children commit the knowledge to memory when they learn it then they will need to spend less time trying to cram the information. Often just knowing your learning style can help you. For example, I know that by writing down information and reading the information back to myself helps me commit it to memory right away. I can quickly glance at the information again a week later and I am comfortable I know it!

This past Wednesday on the #PTCHAT educators, parents, principals, and other stakeholders shared their study tips.

Image from Wordle.net

Parentella: Am I the only one freaking out a little about finals coming up? Let’s share some study tips tonight!
cybraryman1:Study skills should be taught by every teacher at every grade level.
eshwaranv: @cybraryman1 Yes. And with them, the students should develop their own. Each individual is unique when it comes to study strategies.
GaryBrannigan: Study begins with advanced organizers. Don’t read a text like a novel. Look at headings, glossary, summary before reading
schooldayze: We have a homework club. We teach kids how to be teachers, so they can help their friends. Learning through teaching.
jodylo: As well as note taking and organization skills RT @cybraryman1: Study skills should be taught by every teacher on every grade level.
Parentella: Teach students to know their key productivity periods and how to best utilize that time.
eshwaranv: Preparation of charts as visual aids and having them pinned on a notice board in the study room helps.
AngEngland: @Parentella I rarely had to study extra for tests if I took good notes.
GaryBrannigan: If done well, note taking is an active learning process, especially if we put things in our own words
Jhotvedt2: @GaryBrannigan And for son 3, for whom there aren’t enough hours in the day, EFFICIENT use of time!
cybraryman1: My Learning Games page (mnemonics are great)http://www.cybraryman.com/learninggames.html/

Parentella was created to solve the issue of parent and educator communication at elementary, middle school and high school levels. As part of this mission, we are hosting weekly #PTCHAT discussions to encourage a productive dialogue between parents and educators. We hope you will join us Wednesdays at 9 p.m. EST.

You may also want to join Parentella on Facebook to keep updated. We invite you to propose questions for upcoming topics. View the entire transcript here.

If you are new to following hashtag discussions, you may want to check out this video tutorial on using Tweetdeck for hashtag discussions.

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Waiting for our Village

Monday, October 18th, 2010

Having seen both movies, I loved Christi’s comparison of Race to Nowhere vs. Waiting for “Superman.”  It wasn’t so much the statistics or the message of  “Superman” that got to me, but one kid in particular, a little boy named Anthony. Anthony lost both his parents to drugs. His grandmother wanted to get him into a charter school because she knows his chances of surviving his childhood without gangs, drugs or violence in his local public school was almost impossible.

I know the statistics that my children are fighting. I’m a single mom, their father is a drug addict. Statistically speaking, we will have beaten the odds if both my daughters graduate high school, let alone go to college. And I know that my love, my support, and my involvement is simply not enough.

In the first few years after my divorce, I searched for resources; resources that would help me be a better parent, that could help me explain why their dad was calling from prison on their birthdays. Resources that could help my daughter excel in math, one of my worst subjects. Again and again, I found that those resources were just out of my reach.

I had insurance, but after finding and connecting with a family therapist, she was no longer available under my plan and I couldn’t afford to pay her out of pocket. I make too much to qualify for any governmental assistance, but not enough to pay private tutors. I didn’t have access to parenting classes because my children hadn’t committed any crimes that would mandate them. I searched for single parent resources, but found only dating sites. I looked into Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and was baffled to be told there weren’t any near me.

I pride myself on being able to care for my children independently, but there were days when I wondered if I should just quit my job, go on welfare, and let Seciton 8 pay for our housing.

Their schools, for the most part, weren’t much better. Unless I really connected with one of their teachers on a personal level, we found ourselves getting through school alone. Because I don’t pick up my kids after school,  I never met fellow parents until I became involved with the PTA (which only happened at schools that had their meetings at night and provided child care), and my kids never had after-school play dates. I’ve googled for mathematical formulas, I’ve written notes and emails to teachers only to have to wait until the end of the next school day to get any answers, if they respond at all.

So far, we’ve survived all of that, and even been able to thrive from time to time.  It’s harder than it should be, and I still can’t guarantee that my children won’t become statistics.

It’s not just me or my children who suffer if they drop out of school; it’s everyone. I don’t want my children to become adults that are not contributing. I don’t want our tax dollars to pay for their incarceration. I want them to be independent, I want them to enjoy their workday, I want them to make good choices not just for them, but for all of us. But I’m only one person, and I’m not perfect, either. I try my hardest, but I don’t know if my best will be good enough for them.

I understand the statistics better than I want to, frankly: children from single parents don’t suffer merely because of the lack of another parent, but the lack of a village.

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April McCaffery is the single mother to two daughters, in 5th and 8th grade.